I will fight no more forever

I am laying down my arms

These hands you see before you

Will ne'er again do harm 

I'm retiring all my weapons

My time fighting is through 

I will never spill a drop of blood

And this I promise you

If you think that I'll be idle, though

You ought to think again 

I'm laying down my brazen sword

And taking up the pen

I'll fire my bullets of wit 

I'll send my shells of scorn

And instead of wishing to cheat death 

You'll wish you'd ne'er been born


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